*suspicious look* someone’s still reading my blog. Every couple of days, I get a few hits.
: P
Counterintuitive, I know; but, if you want to know what i think, just ask me, doi. I dont feel like writing artsy blog posts for the time being. And, if you ask me casually, i will probably offer you a more honest depiction of my thoughts than what you might read from here : )
And now, back to fun things. like writing up the extracurricular paragraph for the common app. wheeee!
I checked my blog stats today. I am not amused with the fact that people are still reading my blog.
lols.
So, just for the disclaimer… if you read any of my old entries, know that those were not written by the same christophe you see today. The christophe of old was a silly person. And the christophe of new.. well, he still seems to be a silly sort of person. but just not in the same way.
notice that i leave out much punctuation and have no care for grammar. and im sorry if you take offense to that.
eh. actually, im not.
so, should i keep writing in this blog regularly?
methinks no, methinks i should finish up my apps and forget about this blog for now.
methinks… methinks im hungry.
two things:
1. blake. you suck. ima slap you tomorrow too.
2. by the way, if i knew people were actually going to read my blog, i would not have posted my last post.
i care not. were not compatible anyway. im being way to sentimental. i mean, goodness. arent guys supposed to have hearts of stone. ive taken steps to kill my addiction to tumblr and facebook and msn.so i can stop being totally obsessed. so, i can just forget. so i can simply wish for friendship. why is it so hard. i hope no one ever reads this. i sound so pitiful.
cement pavement.
ouch.
i dont care.
im outta this heartbreaker.
goodbye.
My writing tutor made me write up another personal essay to my slight frustration. This is the first draft I wrote of it. Though it’s pretty rough, this one is probably the essay which is most true to my perspective.
******************************************************************************
Last year, I was admitted to the Uber Kammerstreich. The name means Super Chamber Strings in German.
Since fifth grade, Kammerstreich has been my goal as a violinist. During concerts, I would gaze with eyes wide open as the tuxedo clad musicians filed onto the stage. This tightly knit family was the “utopia” for string musicians at my school. Unlike the symphonic orchestra, the Kammerstreichers performed without a conductor. And, every Thursday, they would struggle out of bed to diligently rehearse before school.
But, Kammerstreich was not what I expected. At my first rehearsal, cellists and violists bickered; violinists joked. Others scrambled to finish up their calculus assignments. While cacophony continued, the quiet kids stewed in silence.
We were then handed the most difficult piece in Kammerstreich history: the Bartok Divertimento. Our advisor had waited years for a group which would stand a chance.
Bartok hit us like a small tidal wave. Musicians who had never needed to struggle before were struck aghast. When Mozart lovers saw the violent, dissonant harmonies, they cried blasphemy. Was this music or was this just a rhythmic chaos?
Our “family” was falling apart. Bartok seemed to inflame and reveal all of our group’s problems. The inner circle blamed the outer circle for their difficulties. Previous rivalries grew into shouting matches. Twice, our concertmaster stormed out of the room leaving us stunned.
Suddenly, we only had a few more weeks before the competition, and we were not even close to finishing the piece. For the sake of the music, we put our differences aside. We had a few tearful heart-to-heart talks, and respect grew out of our compromises. I learned to trust my section leader. Like little kids, we made-up with cupcakes and t-shirts.
The Bartok Divertimento mirrored Kammerstreich. Separate melodies attempted to harmonize; unstable rhythms left us bitter and confused. But in the end, the entire group rose out of the dissonance and into a beautiful climax.
Kammerstreich parallels the real world. Throughout life, I will work with people with different aspirations and goals. Everyone’s different. In Kammerstreich, some just wanted to make music, while others needed to win. Some demanded discipline, while others just wanted to have some fun. But, despite our differences, music brought us together. We compromised for the sake of the “common good.” We didn’t try to change anyone, and no conflicts were completely resolved. But, we learned how to work together.
You can’t choose who’s in your family. Like any family, Kammerstreich had its fights and bitter moments, but in the end, we cared about each other. I am going to miss the seniors who are leaving. The lucky applicants who made it this year have no idea what’s in store for them.
Last night, I was in an extremely good mood.
Out of nowhere, I realized just how easy it is to make people feel better or happier.
I went on Facebook, and sent a couple messages.
I’ve never felt particularly philanthropic after community service or volunteering; but for some reason, those few whimsical words made me feel so happy inside.
Je ne comprends pas.
I’m terrible at comforting people, as I said before. And for some reason, everything that I should have said pops into my mind right after I log off. I doubt you’ll read this. Fortunately for me, no one has read my blog for over three, maybe four, weeks.
Don’t despair, this entry isn’t about you. It’s just for me to organize some ideas in my head.
At our age, everyone’s personalities, ideals, and aspirations are constantly changing. We are like clay, being molded. Once we hit a certain age though, that clay will harden into the person we will be for the rest of our lives.
Friends come and go. Relationships don’t last long. It’s because we might not be compatible with the same person we were compatible with just a month ago. We can’t help it; they can’t help it. The world just keeps spinning.
Even if we find someone who just happens to be our perfect match, there will always be that looming question in the back of our minds. What’s going to happen after we graduate? Like in 1984, we have to use a sort of doublethink to ignore the problem. We can’t stay kids forever. Some of us are staying in Washington, while others, like me, are leaving to the East Coast. Everyone has a different path.
So is there no way out of the pessimism? Well. I’m not quite sure
It’s called Carpe Diem. That’s “seize the day” in Latin. It calls for us to live in the present. Instead of worrying about finding your perfect match, instead of worrying about leaving your friends behind: live for today. Your future is bright. Don’t let it get in the way.
I’ve only known you for a couple of months, and I doubt I really know you yet. So, I’m not sure if this letter would actually help or not.
But at least I gave it a shot.
I met an extraordinary kid in chemistry on my first day of high school. Though I was a nervous freshman, he gave me a firm handshake and introduced himself.
He’s a sophomore at Purdue right now.
He gave me two pieces of advice:
Stream of thought:
The weather feels like February; it makes me feel gloomy.
No one reads this blog, so why is it so hard to speak freely?
There’s a kid I know. He speaks the truth, maybe a bit too frankly.
I love reading his blog. It’s his mind.
I did nothing, really, today.
Tomorrow will be the same.
Hopefully Wednesday will bring some sunshine back.
I put a bunch of piano music into a binder;
I drew a design for its cover and now I’m drawing into the music scores.
It’s oh so colorful.
I can’t wait to color in Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen.
It’s going to be extravagant.
If Vonnegut is right, than I have no choice.
Fate is fate.
How gloomy.
I think I’m going to have to invent a counter-religion for myself,
So I can stay sane.
When I’m old and creaky,
What am I going to think of these blog posts?
I have a problem with iTunes. Here, this is the usual life story of a song I like(d):
As you can see, my short attention span in day-to-day life obviously carries into my music listening habits. That’s why I can’t stand having to buy $0.99 songs. I wish there was a Netflix for music. Hm.. entrepreneurial opportunity?
I run through songs pretty fast. Well, there are a few super-awesome bands which will probably stay with me forever, but many, on the other hand, will not. And so, I am always in search of new material. And the age-old question that comes up is always: What do I listen to next?
So, where do you find your new music? Do you listen to the artists that your friends listen to? Or do you venture deeply into the dense, wild parts of iTunes, alone? Now I don’t blame you if the truth is the former, for I was like that in a faraway time. But if, in fact, you are an intrepid explorer, a pilgrim and servant of the musical world, than I applaud you!
It takes guts to discover a hidden gem, a band that not a soul has heard of, and bring it to light. I’ve spent the last few days attempting to do exactly that. I scour the forums, search the databases of online listening sites, and keep my ears wide open for the obscure groups I’ve never heard before. I’ve found a whole lot of mediocrity, to tell you the truth. But what a feeling when I do strike gold! An accomplishment, indeed.
It’s actually quite easy to be a judge. One can usually tell by the first 10 seconds of listening to a song. Either you like it or you don’t.
But, no matter the outcome of arduous searching, the listener will always learn more about music. Because, in the end, sometimes it simply comes down to: did it sound good? I can’t say the same about some classical music (Schoenberg for example), but for the most part, music is about the individual. Uh oh.. not another case of the individual versus society arguments.
So, instead of grazing on the “Top 10″ hits or feeding off of your friends’ iPods, you might try choosing the road not taken. It is an intimate feeling; I’m not quite sure what it is. But, there’s something very special about it.
